Talk About It

Over the past week, I shared two separate runs with men who, like me, have also lost a baby.

I can say that with those two interactions, the connection with both individuals was easier than expected, and the words flowed freely. 

It’s strange bonding with new people because of a similar traumatic experience. And I’d be lying if I said the anticipation of those meet-ups wasn’t uncomfortable.

But just like most things that assist us in healing—they’re usually far from comfortable. At least initially.

Exposure and frequency matter.

I guess that’s the point I’m trying to get to here. 

It’s very early on the morning of my 34th birthday, and I should probably be asleep next to my wife. But that’s not where I find myself. Instead, I find myself sitting in front of my computer, trying to get a sense of how I’m doing right now.

You see, it would have been my son Lennox’s 4th birthday today as well, had things turned out differently. For the past 3 years, I’ve written a post regarding how many years have passed, how I am doing concerning the passing of those years, and how I’ve been processing my grief. While that’s been a helpful practice, that’s not what I intend to do this morning. Because I am doing well. No two days are created equal, and I sure do struggle sometimes. But the good days far outweigh the bad ones lately, and that is because of choice.  

Choosing to talk about it. 

Whatever you’ve got going on, you can make the choice today to talk about it. And I strongly encourage you to do just that.

While I was out there talking with those guys, I noticed something while sharing some of my darkest truths. I noticed that they listened, and they validated my pain. But I also noticed that I was able to do the same for them. Which, in a strange but necessary way, helped us not to feel alone. And that’s so important. 

It’s easy to get stuck in your head when dealing with grief, pain, and trauma. It’s so easy to feel alone. 

But I can guarantee that you’re not.

You need to find the strength to open up and talk about it. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if it pushes some people away. And even if you need to lead from the front and start the conversation.

Do it.

You might find a brief moment of peace, a sliver of a smile, and a small sense of hope for the future. 

I know I did this past week. 

And that’s enough for now.