Ultra-Dad: How Ultrarunning Has Made Me A Better Father

Sometimes it’s funny to try and draw parallels between two unrelated topics, in this instance, ultrarunning and fatherhood.

They seem very different, almost at odds with one another. On the one hand, you have a selfish activity that requires you to be away from your family in most cases while logging hours of miles each week. On the other hand, you have a role that forces you to consider the well-being and priorities of another human, often over your own.

But just because two things aren’t cohesive on the exterior doesn’t mean that we can’t apply transferrable lessons from one to the other.

Take ultrarunning and the many benefits I’ve gained from this practice and sport. If I think about all that I’ve learned from my time on the roads and trails, three stand out because of their application to parenthood:

• patience

• planning

• perseverance

Ultramarathons teach you to be patient. You have to conserve your pace early on, stick to your strategy, and try not to get wrapped up in the adrenaline and excitement. You are forced to realize the enormity of the task ahead and keep your focus on small milestones—aid stations, geographic markers, or miles accumulated. Parenting is very similar. Being a father requires patience. You can’t impart all your knowledge and wisdom to your children on day one. You need to take your time, find the opportune moments, and don’t get wrapped up in minor setbacks. 

Training for and racing in an ultra requires substantial planning and an awareness that plan A might not work, so be prepared with a plan B. You might think you’ll want to eat or drink something specific at a particular stage in a race, but when your stomach starts to rebel or your brain begins to disagree with your plans, then what do you do? The same goes for parenting. You should always have a plan B for when your initial plan goes out the window. You might think you were going to go to the beach for a nice relaxing family day, but when your kid(s) start to, wait, never mind. A relaxing day at the beach? You’re a parent; who are you kidding? Plan ahead. 

Running requires perseverance. The definition of perseverance is persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. You have to consistently push through discomfort to get better at running, and often the results aren’t actualized or realized for months or years. This is parenting in a nutshell, as well. Honestly, I thought I was reading the definition of parenthood when I Googled perseverance. There’s no denying that being a parent is difficult. And there’s no denying that the results of your hard work won’t be fully actualized or realized for many years. 

But, with running and parenting, we know they’re worthy endeavors, and we learn to love the process and appreciate the payback along the way. The rewards are tenfold.

So be patient, plan for the inevitable, and persevere through all of it.